Brent Lawrence Yaffe Obituary (1978 - 2023)

Brent Yaffe, age 45, of Minnetonka, passed away peacefully on August 23rd, surrounded by very dear friends. He is preceded in death by his sister, Shana; grandparents, Charles & Mary Belgarde, Arthur & Charlotte Yaffe; aunt, Michelle Lind; uncle, Gerald Belgarde. He is survived by his parents, Harry & Belle Yaffe; brothers, Chad and Brock Yaffe. He was loved by his many aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. Brent was a loving son. We will miss his wry sense of humor, his big, long hugs, his smile, his many “I love you’s”, our weekly Original Pancake House lunch, his generous heart, and the affection he lavished on his beloved dog, Max. Brent was a Viking Fan and a season ticket holder for many years with his dad. Brent was a proud enrolled member of the Bois Forte Reservation of Net Lake and was named Standing Buffalo by Jimmy Greatwalker in a traditional sweat ceremony. Brent loved computer gaming and was quite proficient at it. His musical tastes ranged from Classical, to Elvis, to Heavy Metal. Brent was an active fund raiser for his favorite charity, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. There were times he shaved his head to show support for those children affected with cancer. Memorials preferred to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Graveside service 11:00 am, SUNDAY, August 27th, ADATH CHESED SHEL EMES CEMETERY, 3740 Winnetka Ave. N., Crystal; also available via Zoom at: www.hodroffs.com/BrentYaffe Eulogy (given by Brent's father at the service): Hi, Brent; we are here to say our final goodbye. It is ironic and a quirk of life that we, along with many of you, attended Belle's and my thrice-Covid-delayed 53rd Anniversary party, at which you explained the tradition of the Blanket wedding ceremony and beautifully offered an Ojibwe Wedding prayer. That was a truly joyous event, and we are so glad you enthusiastically participated. You smiled from ear to ear and even danced up a storm. Now, a mere six weeks later, we gather to mourn your sudden passing. Another irony occurred at the beginning of your life: In May 1978, our little girl Shana was born prematurely and lived a mere few hours. Three months later, Hennepin County called to say there was a newborn available for adoption in Wadena, MN. We were elated with the news and quickly scrambled to secure a crib and other baby paraphernalia over a weekend, much as we have scrambled over these past few days—a juxtaposition. However, this time, it is to honor and remember your life. We brought you home on Shana’s due date, had Shana been full term. A gift and truly wonderful way to build a family. We had two names picked out for you—Joshua and Brent, and on the drive home, Belle and I would look at each other and then at our newest family member and say: Joshua/Brent, Joshua/Brent. A few miles from home we looked at each other, and simultaneously proclaimed –“Brent it is”. From the time you joined our family, we made sure that you knew that you were adopted. Hennepin County provided us with excellent records, and when you became a teenager, we asked if you wanted to meet your biological parents. Your anger rose and you scowled, “you are my parents,” and made it crystal clear that this subject was forever closed. People who know me, or should I say my immediate family, can attest to my overbearing and hovering parenting—when I queried Brent about whether he agreed with that notion, he described my demeanor as a caring parent. Needless to say, I totally concurred with Brent’s characterization. Post Covid, we established a weekly tradition of lunch at one of your favorite eateries, The Original Pancake House. A couple of weeks ago at one of our get togethers, we asked you, now that Mom and I are 75, have you envisioned life after us? You replied, this is why it is so important for us to get together each week as long as we can. Now, we are the ones that are faced with the reality of what life will be like without you. The day before you died, we met for lunch and that is the last time we saw you alive and was the last time we received one of your big long hugs and one of your "I love you"s. Brent has wonderful, loyal friends; a true “Band of Brothers” that have remained together since junior high. It was his roommate and friends who were at the house when Brent took his last breath and had the difficult task of informing us. You guys had great fun together, though we called it mischief - like one Halloween slashing the tires of none other than a Hennepin County sheriff’s car, and jumping from our second-floor deck into our pool. We suspect there were many other misadventures, of which we are gratefully ignorant. Your great joy the last couple of years was your dog Max, your beloved Jack Russell. Max brought meaning and purpose into your life. Brent, you would be happy to know that one of your “Band of Brothers” will be providing Max a loving home. We are ever thankful for your therapist, Dr. Michael Palmen, who guided you through several life challenges. You and he had a 15-year relationship, and we knew not to schedule anything for Thursday afternoons, as this was your and Dr. Palman’s time. You invited Belle and me and your brother Chad several times to attend sessions, which brought to life your special connection. As a little boy, you loved your pirate, Superman, and especially your Indiana Jones costumes. You loved trips to our cabin, and we enjoyed the last weekend together before it was sold, reenacting many of our 30-year traditions - playing rummy tile, watching old movies (where I typically would fall asleep before the opening credits had rolled), swimming, and just sitting on the porch gazing at the lake and listening to the loons. You had a very limited palate for food. As a kid, you loved Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, and for a time that is all you wanted to eat. Mom and I thought—okay, we will test this out and let you eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch, morning, noon, and night. After five days—we threw in the towel and that experiment in parenting was a dismal failure, one of many. You loved Martial Arts, skiing, and hiking. You often boasted of hiking in the snow on your July birthday. You were an avid Vikings fan, loved to wear baggy clothes, you loved computer gaming, old movies, and strawberry waffles. You were very generous, funny, and kind, and at times, a little grumpy if you had just awakened. Your favorite charity for which you engaged in years of fundraising for, was St. Jude’s Children's Hospital. At times, during campaigns, you would shave your head as a tribute to children afflicted with cancer. In closing, in the New York Times yesterday, I came across an article written by a parent on the loss of her 14-year-old daughter, and her words resonated. “The pain will always be there for us, in our home when we return tonight; it will come to us in bed or when we wake, we will always have it. Our challenge will be to allow the beauty of life in. That will be the work of all the rest of our days, to hold the pain and the beauty of life side by side, without letting one crush or crowd out the other.” Brent, we will miss the beauty of your physical presence, but, the beauty of your kind generous spirit will live on in our hearts forever. Goodbye, our sweet boy!